Don’t Be a People Pleaser (Unless You Want to Stay Broke)…
This topic today was originally inspired by my friend David Sharpe who I was listening to on my iPod at the gym this morning (on one of the AWESOME Empower Network Inner Circle audios). David was talking about how being a people pleaser will cause you to be broke, not only financially but emotionally as well…
Immediately upon leaving the gym I stumbled upon this quote:
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.” – Bill Cosby
I love this… and totally agree.
So I decided that this must be the official thought for the day and, since it’s one of my favorite topics, I thought I’d share some thoughts about it.
Why Being A People Pleaser Will Keep You Broke
I see it around me all the time and it not only makes me cringe, but it saddens me as well… people pleasers who go through their life day by day thinking that they can please everybody and trying not to offend anybody or turn anybody off.
As a matter of fact, in some ways I used to be a people pleaser myself. When I say this, I am referring to the way I was behaving with my marketing.
At the core, I am a full-blown Jersey Girl (I live in Colorado now but was born and raised in New Jersey). My Jersey Girl personality is NOT a people pleaser in any way, shape or form. I have never been one to take any sh@* from people, and I’ve never had an issue telling it like it is or standing up for what I believe in. I guess you could go so far as to say I have a bit of an attitude (this is a pretty typical quality for a Jersy Girl). 🙂
That being said, when I first entered the marketing world, I thought I needed to tone it down and just ‘be nice’. I thought it would be best to just try to please everybody and appeal to everybody.
I even avoided creating videos for the longest time because I didn’t want my attitude (and my Jersey accent) to shine through… it was way easier for me to tone it down in text (video was much too REAL).
I was a marketing people pleaser. And all I have to say is: It didn’t work. At all.
As I started to step into my true personality in my marketing (thanks to some coaching that I got and just the process of evolution), I started to develop a following. People liked me for me… not for trying to be something I’m not.
Yes, I’m sure I’ve turned a ton of people away in the process, but the ones that have been attracted to me have stuck like glue and they follow me wherever I go.
What I’ve learned is that this is much more beneficial (to everyone involved) than being a people pleaser and trying to please everyone.
Key Points About Being a People Pleaser
1) Being able to please everybody and appeal to everyone in your marketing is literally impossible.
Think about it… there is absolutely no way you can please everybody all the time. People are all different… they all have different likes and dislikes and are all drawn to different things.
2) When you try to appeal to everyone you will end up attracting nobody.
If you try to steer your marketing so that you can attract the masses, what will happen is it will not be targeted enough to attract the people who are your target audience.
3) Being authentic is a truly honorable quality. Being a people pleaser is not.
The key is to always be authentic. Don’t be afraid to tell it like it is… to be straight about how you feel. Yes, there will be some people who may not agree with you, but the more you stand for what you truly believe in, the more you will attract people who REALLY resonate with you.
By giving up the need to be a people pleaser, you will
- free yourself up from worrying about what others think about you and what you’re doing (when you free yourself up from this, you will find yourself having a whole lot more energy in your life… not to mention you will be much happier).
- develop some loyal followers who will stick to you like glue (this is WAY more powerful than having more followers but having ones that are not super loyal).
When you give up your need to be a people pleaser, you will simply be FREE. Free to truly be yourself…
When you are truly authentic you will become like a magnet that will have people drawn to you from all over… people who are on the same page as you, and people who respect you for not being afraid to show your true colors.
So, go ahead and take an honest look at yourself… are you a people pleaser? How about in your marketing? Are you trying to appeal to everyone?
It’s okay if you are, but now that you know that that way will never be very effective, you can go ahead and make some changes. Just be authentic and stop being a people pleaser. ..
Please leave your questions and comments about being a people pleaser below… and if you’ve liked this post, please share it with your friends!
To your AUTHENTIC success,
Amy Starr Allen
p.s. If you don’t have it yet, go here now to get my FREE video bootcamp: 7 Keys to Your Authentic Success ONLINE. It goes into much more detail about being authentic vs. being a people pleaser. You’ll love it!